Archive for the Category » Relationships «

Happy Thoughts, Happy Trails & Happy Fins!


Staring at my screen, my mind flows to the instances when & where I had been the happiest. My dad instituted in me when I was growing up, that it’s not how much I can make but what I do to get there that would make me rich. It’s not about being with the people who can help me achieve my goals but about making the goals to help the people around me so they won’t falter. He wanted me to go places, to see things, something I couldn’t really fathom at the age of 13, but his words echoed in my mind. I had 4 dogs, 17 cats & 2 turtles which I could never take with me & the thought of going anywhere without them wasn’t appealing at all. I was filled with thoughts of how to save the world – the world being the stray dogs & cats in Malaysia because every time when it stormed, the thought of a stray dog/cat being drenched & suffering in the cold, etched a despairing imagery that made my heart drop. Indeed, my first ambition had been to be a vet & save ”˜my world.’

As if animals had the seventh sense, (detection of impure intentions), my first dog, Mickey, was adverse towards my mother, a Hakka who USED to eat dogs. It’s repulsive to think my mom ate my best friends’ kind but in her days, it’s either dog meat or die of starvation. Well, the feud began as Mickey would wait for the time when my mom would hang her laundry (dad, sis & hers included) & when it was all done, would leap up the lines to pull them all off!!! LOL!!! He even knew which items belonged to her & would shred her clothes to bits!! ( I really shouldn’t laugh but it was such a funny sight to see her going after him with my dad & I running to the rescue! Rescue the dog, I mean…..) When my nanny does our laundry, Mickey would sleep underneath the clothes line to chase away the landing crows. Call this loyalty but it went on for years! I’m surprised she didn’t eat him up. Ppffffttttt! 😀


I went to school daily with several paw prints on my pinafore, drawing curiosity from teachers till they accepted the fact that I had very enthusiastic dogs that bade me farewell in the mornings. We went straight home after school, had lunch & short nap before we went to the golf club for our extra-curricular activities. On weekends, my sister & I would follow dad to the shooting range for his practices. We got acquainted with everyone at the club until I picked up air pistol shooting myself. I didn’t go as far as to represent the country like my dad did in the Asian Games, Commonwealth & SEA Games, but I got an idea how passionate dad was about his practices long after he retired from the sport. Then my thoughts went further back as a child when dad would bring us to the beach in Port Dickson. During low tide, there were lots of soldier crabs which I half expected to leap out of their burrows & nip me. Refusing to walk, I clung onto my dad’s legs for dear life…….with a reassuring voice, he said, “Darling, daddy will hold your hands & you can put your feet on mine. We will walk to the water together ok? The crabs won’t bite daddy’s feet!” That sounded just fine. I could do with that. So we set out with me standing on my dad’s feet, being held up by his hands & we took giant strides to escape the battlefield of claws & clippers….


Mom would disappear into the horizon the moment she enters the water. Used to freak dad out. Dad was the stronger swimmer but mom loved the sea & had no fear. Isn’t it apparent where I got this ocean-streak from??? Mom’s fearless attitude & dad’s wisdom had kept me astute in all other sense & I thank God for their dedication in my life. The last I heard, dad is happily playing golf in heaven. Mom will soon join him there. She can still recognise me but she’s no longer able to talk nor respond to what I say to her. ? – I am thankful that she is in Christ & my assurance is in the promises of God, in the Word that has been established since the beginning of time. I know she will be in a happier place after suffering from stroke twice.

I sail across the reef & look at the colonies that God had designed. It’s so awesome that He pieced them together to build a reef occupied by so many inhabitants. Even my camera cannot capture the marvels of His thoughts & all I can do is show you a glimpse of my world & what goes through my mind when I dive.


It’s been awhile since I wrote any heartfelt pieces. I was too busy getting in & out of aeroplanes, stopping to pick flowers but not to smell them, I’ve witnessed but not engaged & I have disassociated from caustic people who tried to rob me of my joy. I have made peace with God to not fret with people who discount me from their lives in their moment of weakness & after trying to make peace with them unsuccessfully, it’s time to move on. The burden is not mine to bear. God fills every need I have & I can’t ask for more. I hope they too, would forgive me for my silence in letting go.

I want to make every second count. I will take more pictures & fill you in on what goes on in my life, if you care to come back here. All these engagements to write for my sponsors are indeed, my own opinion & I will not endorse anything contrary to my beliefs. I have started my new appointment with another travel agency & this new covenant will be for His Kingdom. There will be events & exciting happenings as we roll out our offers soon. Hope you are able to join me in my adventures to make these stories come to life!

Cupidry Years Later….


One of the first few blogs I had written was about cupids and the role they played in my life. What has changed 5 years on, is the people whom I was set up to meet, are all married now and different friends have taken on the cupid role. I would like to think I’m not off the shelf neither am I desperate to get hitched but every time friends want me to meet so and so, I do it for the friendship and camaraderie of having fun.

Few years ago, on a trip to Sipadan, I blogged about how total strangers have advised me the things that I already knew in my mind from the experience that I had gone through having worked in the dive industry. In this post, I was reflecting upon how God had been providing for my every need even as I led a world renown biologist to dive and he had a major fit. Just because I had been proposed, it doesn’t mean I will accept. In my entry detailing the man of my dreams, I had listed out the kind that would turn me on, and the kind that would turn me away. Even my favourite hawker reminded me how I need to open my life to having someone again!

I’m not sure if I’ll ever find myself anyone I had envisioned that way but the journey in search of this guy is just hilarious. I hope you would enjoy my pieces which have brought me much fulfillment and to be there to journey with me as I live the drama that enfolds daily in my walk that is never short of excitement.


Almost as soon as I got back from Hanoi, I had to certify a group of students in a secret island over the Merdeka Day weekend. With all the reports of whale shark sightings in the area, I was beginning to resign to the fact that perhaps the whale shark is a myth! I have been diving for 16 years and I’ve not seen it! Why?!?!

On our 5th dive which was my 2,209th, we set out to look for it and after 40 minutes hovering in the blue or was it green, due to the unusually high plankton content in the water. Almost given up, we surfaced to get back onto the boat when the boatman shouted for me to backroll into the water as a whale shark was approaching on the surface! Well, as you guessed it, the whale shark is no longer a myth because I had an encounter with TWO!

How To Be A Friend


The most frightening thing a writer can experience in the course of churning up a piece is having no inspiration to write. In my case, I feel that I’m in a desperate need to visit a new place and possibly experience a different culture to revive my state of impediment. I am staring at my beautiful screen (I’ve put colours of the sea as wallpaper) and have no inclination where my next glimmer of words would be. There was a time when I could spew out letters to state issues that plague anything but today, I have to think if I have any issues to address. Its actually a good thing, considering that issues are very absorbing and can rob you of energy, passion and time, of which I have very little of at this moment.

About 6 years ago, I thought long and hard about the person I wanted to be and I listed down the reasons why friends would want to spend time with me which would make me be a better friend to them. I thought about my closest friends first, then about friends in my circle of influence who are not so personal but are there when you want to have tea and a good laugh. I also combined personality traits and characteristics that I could grow into.

  1. In order to have friends, I need to be a friend to them.
  2. Apart from good company, I need to be there even when they are not so good company i.e. when they are having a bad day.
  3. I must be empathetic, not sympathetic….I need to listen and not act unless Im asked.
  4. I must learn to keep in touch and not distant myself when the going gets tough. My friends chose to be friends in all times of need and by alienating them when I’m down, its like telling them they are useless as friends. I must learn to let go of friends who choose to have their privacy for whatsoever reason. 
  5. I must learn not to expect from a friendship. Friendship with expectations is a conditional one.
  6. Acknowledge that not all friends are friends, and accept that some of them are just not interested in you or being a friend to you, and that some of them will always upset you. I think this has a lot to do with chemistry.
  7. Just as there are friends who bring out the best in you, there are people who would bring out the worst in you. The kind who would make your blood boil and your stomach simmer. When you recognise this group of people, its best to just keep a distance. All the fighting in the world would not make them see your point so why bother? Losing hair and sleep over something trivial is not the best way to live. You need to deal with this on your own or with a counsellor if you are the one who have issues. All the bitching in the world would not affect them in the least bit so why bother. I am glad I was counseled professionally then, to be able to give counsel to those in need.  
  8. I can change my approach towards annoying people instead of trying to change annoying people. 
  9. Silence between friends is golden, especially when they can let you be in their personal space and be totally at peace. Treasure that. I did and I love my friends for it.
  10. Laughter among friends is even better. It bonds the emotions and seals the friendship. To be able to laugh heartily without a care is to explode with sentiment. Laughter releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones. I needed to laugh much more. 
  11. When God created the world, He spoke and it came into being. He spoke, and the stars, planet, sun and moon were blasted into the orbit. If we are made in His image, don’t you think our words carry a lot of weight in which you can bless or curse others? I chose to bless. 
  12. I don’t need to use foul language to get my point across. Finesse is in spoken words and being verbally incontinent displays a lack of discipline. Being in control and being able to articulate your words will let your friends see that you have it in you. 
  13. If you don’t like people to talk bad about you or with malice, then stop giving people a reason to. Keep your private life private. There is a select few who really know whats going on in my life and I’d like to keep it that way. I have no interest to pry into the lives of others if they don’t want to share with me. 
  14. I will tell the truth. Even if it hurts.
  15. I will be genuine with my feelings, if I don’t like you, I will not pretend I do. It would have to be a moral and ethical issue if I don’t like someone. Each person has his/her own set of values and may not necessarily be in line with mine. And I would give them a chance to make good with whatever wrongdoings (such as when they hurt you/your friend or cheat on their spouse/partner) but if they do not heed, I will not go out of my way for the friendship. Genuine friends will not allow you to be reckless in your actions and will tell you if you are conducting your life in a hasty, irresponsible and thoughtless manner. Neither would they want you to be hurt. 
  16. The time given by your friend to be out with you is precious. Keep all phone calls to a maximum of 3 minutes and respect your friends time accorded to you. If you don’t want to feel left out, don’t leave people out.
  17. In life, there must be accountability. Theres no use justifying your actions if you get caught for any wrongdoing. Just admit it, apologise and change if you have to. If not, be prepared to lose a friend. 
  18. It takes a moment to destroy what people take a lifetime to build. It’s called trust. Don’t break it for others. What is not yours belongs to somebody else. I don’t have to be vivid in painting this picture and I’m sure my friends would not paint this picture for me.  
  19. No one is a lesser person. No one is stupid. No one is greater than the other except the one who came and died for you and me. There are only opportunities. You may have had a better education, access to your fathers wealth and property to have a head-start in life but if you don’t have love and compassion for the less fortunate who never had the opportunities, you are as good as the other person on the street. It’s not what I can get out of being friends to the poor, the old, they dying, the homeless, the desolate, the abused, the orphans and the sick but what I can give of myself to make a little difference to the world they live in. 
  20. Living is about touching lives. Not exploit or manipulate people to get what you want. Life is too short to live for meaningless goals. Make someone happy today.

And when I finished with the note then, I felt the burden lifted off from my shoulders. I went for my Emergency First Response Instructor qualification and then Disaster Relief Training with CREST to prepare myself and to train others to go on missions. I know one day, these skills will come in handy. I attended a Handling Children and Child Psychology course to learn how to work with children and abused children. It made me feel so fortunate to have had a great childhood and great friends who would support me in my work with the less fortunate. And with this list as my guideline to be a friend, I know I will have much to give back to the community and the less privileged. Even with friends who never regarded you as one before. Issues abound when friends cant see eye to eye or accept each others differences. Forget issues and start living. I think my inspiration returned after I revamped my blog. Happy holidays…..

Good Friends Are Hard To Come By……

…….so keep those who are good like jewels in your treasure chest. Friends come & go but you would know keepers when they are there come rain or shine. I’ve had the opportunity to catch up with a friend for tea on Saturday to find out what’s going on in each other’s life. We sat down relishing the duck confit & cheese cake, reminiscing the times we spent taking care of other people’s troubles, mending broken hearts & settling affairs. We talked about how vicious something is, how unforgiving some remarks can be & how one can make good of oneself by being role models that people can aspire to be. The possibilities of getting things right & not screwing up life’s chances were some of the issues we talked about.

We laughed about some blunders that we would rather forget & how stupid we felt in the wake of relationship blues but we made good of our lives with the help of friends who stood by us through it all. As we tucked into our mouthfuls of sinfully delicious treats for the afternoon, we realised that friendship is something that you build upon with hope, empathy, care, love & action. Of course there was the discussion about cats not ever refusing fish & dogs not ever being disloyal as we have looked, loved, lasted, limped & lived to tell each other that it’s alright to look, listen, laugh & love again. Ultimately I need not be the fish to get a cat while he need not be the cat to get a fish. What would life be without friends??? 🙂

Hawkers Delight


I have patronised this hawker stalls food for more than 12 years. Run by two brothers, I have seen Ben single, attached, hitched & hatched not one but four beautiful offsprings. My routine of going for breakfast at his stall on the same road as the shop I sent my films for developing, accounted for the interesting & light-hearted conversations we engaged in. They were extremely excited in seeing the photographs of the places Ive dived, people Ive made friends with & the environment that I work in. They were particularly interested in the guy I was seeing, to hear about how the relationship began & the sadness in their eyes to see that it ended. Even ordinary male friends whom were present with me, were not spared from the question of whether they were going to be THE one. They have often regarded me as the girl who never grew up let alone grow older.

I was ever so faithful in following them wherever they moved till I lost touch with them for three years when they moved the third time. Right up until two years ago, I found them in a hawker centre near my place & having a long lost friend found, I was elated. They were just as excited because it meant that we could catch up, swap stories & show pictures again. Ben asked me a month ago if I could help him choose his first digital camera so off we went a shopping together with his two eldest children. They are simple people making a simple living with simple pleasures in life. And I was the complicated girl, with a complicated life, having had complicated relationships, making fun of complicated stories about the complicated issues in my life that I cant solve & in between making the noodles, Ben would dash over to my table to hear them. Both Ben & his elder brother had never made any judgments about my life, my adventures & my testimonies of how I came to know God. In fact, they encouraged me even more although they were of a different faith.

Tonight I had to runaway from the office before I got called to another long & draggy meeting. I needed to pack & prepare for my trips ahead of me. Being occupied till mid August, I know I would have to sacrifice my noodle-therapy for some time so I headed down to Bens place to order my faithful bowl of noodle soup. Garnished with lots of spring onions & lean chicken shreds, I was about to tuck in when Bens brother made an astounding remark out of the blue, Pam, no matter what has happened, never close your doors on men who come your way. Dont turn away any possibilities even if you know they stand no chance with you, dont shut your doors on anyone because you would never know who will be the Mr. Right. Those who came & went did not deserve you as they didnt know how to appreciate you nor loved you the way you ought to be loved so dont discount the fact that you might have a partner soon. And dont think you are going to be single all your life. Ive been wanting to tell you this for the longest time but I just needed to tell you at the opportune time. They were never right for you but dont penalise yourself because of that. You deserve a lot more. I want to see you happy because thats when you look your best. I really hope that someone would find you soon. Just then, I sat there stunned because he had always been a man of few words & what he said struck more than a cord with me. It was the first time he had spoken with such a conviction & passion. I smiled, of course. I never thought that my life meant so much to him & Ben & after such a long time, I thought long & hard about being single. (OMG, I love being single!!!)

I love the quiet time I spend with God, I love it when I hear Him, I love it when I could express it in worship & I love the serenity singlehood brings. Who on earth am I to consider as the stud, stag or stallion that He wants me to ride & stay on & if its going to be the one who would sweep me off my feet forever? In a nutshell, that someone would have to tug hard at my heartstrings because love does not cause despair & depression when you work towards staying & being together. Love does not tear you down when you are building yourselves up. Love does not seek self gratification. Love does not keep record of wrongdoings.

Perhaps love has eluded me till today because I havent really understood the depths & the breadth of it all. Lord, let there be thunderbolts in my heart & flashes of light in my soul when you finally send THE one. Ive never been in a hurry & Im not going rush just because Im being pursued but let the stag, stud or stallion be someone who has a sense of humour & a heart of gold so that when we are old & gray, the thing that keeps us together would be the stuff that makes us laugh & the beat we have for the faith we have in You.

Cotton Candy

I love the sound of rushing water in the night. The stream that runs parallel to the edge of the jungle around my place gets filled quickly when the rains come. It was a much needed shower yesterday after a hot spell, something that occurs this time of the year. The good thing about hot days is that the skies are bluer & the clouds are puffier which then dissipate into streaks of fluff & cotton candy. Hmmmm……cotton candy. A reminder of my childhood where I found delight in having fluffy-fied sugar on my tongue……God spun the wool of sugar into a great ball of fluff for people like me to peel away. Wouldn’t it be great to have one right now with a glass of milk tea!!!

Someone I met told me that if you don’t capitalise on an opportunity to express yourself before someone else does, you will miss that moment. Another told me that if you pamper someone you love too much, they would take it for granted that it’s your job to do so & you will be taken for granted. As Valentine’s Day passed without a hitch, I was taken out for dinner & enjoyed the company very much. I am just wondering where all that novelty went. I think everyday is a day to express your love to people who mean a lot to you. Not just on Valentine’s Day or with flowers nor with gifts though every girl loves them. Diamonds & pearls are nice but what’s nicer is you get down & dirty on your knees in a coal mine & mine me some coal, telling me that you will hold me with it until it becomes a diamond. I would take this coal any day but if anyone wants to give me a diamond, I’ll take it & say thank you la! 🙂 How can chivalry ever be dead???

Even if you venture in to a cave & all you got me is a piece of crystal, I’d still cherish it, for the heights that you have scaled, the guano that you had endured, the stumbling you had to take to pry a piece of geological evidence that you have been THERE to do THAT for me, I would be touched beyond believe. Maybe you would consider taking me a across the river, teaching me to brave leeches (& endure screeches…) & such so that I can get to see a piece of tin/copper/iron/silver/gold on the upper stream or sit with me to watch the sunrise & set as I fumble with my camera to get my settings right while you get frustrated with me for not getting ready before that moment…..or is it the other way around??? Will you be the one who will be there when I fall? And laugh after that?

Someone told me friendship always ends, in love but LOVE in friendship never ends. I think love has eluded me but friendship hasn’t. Mr. Incredible has got to have the right stuff & it’s not necessarily found in the finer things in life. The finer things for me are found in a cotton candy that God is spinning for me now……

Jimbo Jimbo

If there is one thing I enjoy doing, is going to watch Jimbo perform with The Young KL Singers at The Actors Studio. Last year, in December, before I cut my hair, Pek Ling & I together with several others, went to watch ‘Going Home.’

This time around, Timothy & Connie, Pek Ling & friends, Rachael, Chu Yau & myself, were cheering for Jimbo to come back onstage after the show was over but he in all his blurness, waited for us outside the theatre. Jimbo is a chemical engineer who gets hit on, every time he goes on a diving trip with me, by other girls. He would ask me questions that would leave me dumbfounded……”Eh, Pam, which fin goes on the right foot & which one goes on the left ah?”

He has one trait that Pek Ling & I deplore, he FFKs (Fong Fei Kei – misses appointments). A lot of times. When Greg was around, Greg had his fair share of being stood up by Jimbo when he had bought the movie tickets for our regular movie marathons. He would make apointments that he would conveniently forget because he forgot to tell his ‘sexytary’ about his schedule that he forgot to key into his Palm PDA. He’s built 60 million dollar plants & reinforces the fact that he has 40 people under him & he still can give excuses that he can’t take leave to go diving. And he loves Pek Ling’s pink, polka dotted bikini when in actual fact, it’s checkered. Anyway, I feel like a mother hen when I have to pick on his schedule & remind him often what our plans are for the trips that he insisted we go on. He’s annoying but we still love him.

Candle That Would Burn A Lifetime

This is Mr. Candle. He is one amazing character who never cease to bring light & life to those who are in need. He is also very much sought after by those who seek him for other purpose. He was the nicest, finest, devoted candle ever made & a piece that would shame his rivals.

One fine day, he met Miss Candle, who was on a journey to find the source of light so she could light up for the nations who are still living in darkness. It was a journey that would make her complete. In the process of lighting up one another’s life, Mr. Candle fell sick. He was confused as to what this source of light meant & if he should find it too. To do that, he had to give up a past. A past that had many hurts & disappointments & betrayals. In this process, he fell further into the darkness. Miss Candle continued to care for him & to nurse him back to life. She burned for him. She halted her journey despite knowing of the lost time. She became the flame to hopefully ignite Mr. Candle to see that he has a journey too.

Over time, Miss Candle fell into despair too. She burned & burned but saw no light in Mr. Candle who held onto a past which served to blister the wounds that Miss Candle suffered in her past. She knew she would lose the path if she continued burning alone. Mr. Candle was nowhere near her journey. His refusal to understand & burn together with Miss Candle, caused her to lose heart & melt away. He did not know how to handle hot wax.

With a heavy heart, Miss Candle had to let go of the burden for she has reached the end. She would lose her source if she doesn’t abide in the safe recesses of the Pot of Wax underneath the rainbow. She would have loved to have Mr. Candle burning side by side with her & filling up each others reserve as they journeyed but he doesn’t know how to.

Now Miss Candle has to be revived & remoulded into a stronger candle, to walk the long, winding path to bring the source of light to those who had never seen it. As for Mr. Candle, the hope is not lost as the source of light is found in abundance for those who seek the right path & willing to brave it.

We Are A Long, Long Way Off

In the animal kingdom, acceptance is so much simpler. The animal walks to the other in the pack & nudges them. No adverse reaction? You are part of them. I was at the zoo last Sunday & I observed various animals’ display of behaviour.The mammals were the loveliest of the lot, demonstrating touches, nudges & neck rubs. And I could see that from mother to cub/fawn/calf & male to female.

If relationship in the human world is as simple as coming over to give you a nudge & a sniff, this world would be all touchy-feely & there would be no need for verbal communication but fortunately for intelligence & spoken words, we have been given the ability to understand one another through expressions that go beyond the animal kingdom. There would be one animal in the pack(usually the bull or the aggressive one) that is cordoned off in an enclosure, perhaps from bad behaviour or to keep from terrorising the juveniles in the pack or just to prevent from overpopulation! Any which way, segregation is not the answer in the human world as we have been designed NOT to live alone. God gave us a community to learn to live with the differences & other attributes to teach us love, peace, joy, faith, kindness, goodness, gentleness, patience & self-control, defined as the ‘fruit’ of the Spirit. In obtaining this, God did not say ‘fruits of the Spirit’ to let us get each of these attributes on its own but God said “if we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” Surely if one of these fruity attributes of Christ is missing, we have already fallen short of the glory of God.

In each of our interaction with others, we find the need to seek approval from those we love even though God said, ‘It is better to trust in the Lord than to put your confidence in man.’ Psalm 118:8. In trying to understand why the need of approval & acceptance is of importance in community living, I find myself looking at the simplicity of the majectic giraffe, wonderfully created with markings & a neck that’s going to take hours to nuzzle as a show of love from the mate, I thought to myself, though the world may look at the giraffe as a strange creature with disproportionate body parts, designed only for the specific areas of the savannah, some may not even think it’s beautiful but to the giraffe & its clan, having each other & enjoying each other’s neck is all that matters. After all, they are already on top of the world, why give two hoots about what’s happening down there…?

Seeing Eye Fish

Psalm 9:1

“I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.”

There’s an old saying that people seldom remember how rapidly the job was done, but they do appreciate good workmanship. However, the staggering variety and number of things created by God did not limit the elegance of His fine workmanship.

The relationship between the snapping shrimp and a fish called the goby is a good example of the Creator’s attention to the finest detail. The snapping shrimp has very poor eyesight, while the goby has excellent eyesight. Both share the same burrow, which is dug by the shrimp and guarded by the goby.

The shrimp uses the goby as a blind person uses a Seeing Eye dog. Whenever the shrimp is outside its burrow, it always keeps one antenna on the goby. The shrimp stays hidden inside the burrow if the goby should temporarily swim away. When danger approaches, the goby signals and disappears inside the burrow. The shrimp is right behind him.

The shrimp is well designed for digging. Once a tunnel is started, the shrimp can dig a burrow large enough for both itself and the goby within a few hours. Each of its five pairs of legs is specialized. The first pair of claws is designed for carrying sediment out of the burrow. The second pair of legs is designed to probe for and clean objects as well as scratching sediment from walls. Pairs three, four and five are walking legs that also work well for scratching material from tunnel walls. On its abdomen the shrimp has several appendages that allow it to move rapidly to protection. Other appendages can create water currents that shift sand back from the digging site.

The snapping shrimp, which is less than two inches long, can dig a system of tunnels covering several square feet within a few days. The burrow will have several entrances, as much as four feet apart. All lead to a chamber at the deepest point of the system.

The Creator has given both the goby and the shrimp different gifts that they both need to live. If they did not share their gifts with each other, neither could survive.

Neither the goby nor the shrimp can survive without each other, so pairs are established for life when both goby and shrimp are very young. In order for this system to work, both goby and shrimp reproductive systems, which differ greatly, are synchronised so that shrimp and goby youngsters are ready to pair at the same time.

This astonishing relationship shows us how our Creator’s standards of excellence bring His love to every corner of the creation.

Taken from

Mars, Venus & Computers

Barely a bud but will blossom soon....

Barely a bud but will blossom soon....


Should a “computer” be a masculine or a feminine noun?

The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender, because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

And so they say men are from Mars & we are from Venus but far from that, God has taken us (women) out of the ribs of man so if anything is to go by with this, we are made to be partners living alongside with them. If God had meant for us to be subjected to men, God would have taken a bone from Adam’s feet to create Eve. Then why is it so hard to get along??? To some, perception is reality, what they perceive may not even be what it seems but men compute things using logic far more than we women do because we tend to rely on emotions or the ‘feel’ of things when we compute. To men, the crux is to ‘get the job done.’ To women, ‘when they can deal with their feelings then they’d attempt at the job.’ I’m speaking from a purely personal point of view in my dealings with friends, loved ones & computers.

Divemuster told me that marriages are made in heaven but it would take a lifetime of work on earth. How true. In an age where people agree to disagree, holy unions had been defiled by the ways of the world. The world says if a marriage doesn’t work, then there’s no point living in misery. God says, apart from adultery, there should be no grounds for divorce. How does one work towards rebuilding a hope that two people have sworn before God to live in health & sickness, for richer & poorer, till death do they part? Before we even think of marriage, in a time where relationships meant that two people has decided to come together to work out their differences, very often, these are forgotten when one does the building & the other tears it down. Not on purpose but on a different perception of how relationships should be lived out and on the expectations not met. Here again, is where the problem lies as two people from two magnitudes of experiences in the past are coming together to make a future, conflicts & misunderstandings abound especially if one believes that he/she is getting the raw end of the deal by being the giver. Once the question of who gives more comes into the picture, the relationship becomes imbalanced. Tendency of feeling short-changed & taken for granted become a preoccupation & arguments that ensue have no relation to the issue but just a means of lashing out at the receiver. Then when nothing seems to be getting through to either party, one would resort to hit out at the other’s character & personality in order for the person to feel hurt enough to hopefully identify with the grieving party. Anger, bitterness & resentment would be carried over to the life not yet lived. Where will it end? Or shall I say, when will the relationship begin?

When anger turns to hatred, no amount of talking will ever improve the status quo. This is where most relationships breakdown. This is when God takes over too. Both vessels are broken. Some, into pieces that may never fit together again. If there is no surrender, God cannot take these broken vessels to be made into clay & remoulded into new vases. Then He puts them through the fire again, to refine them into beautiful porcelain, fit for the use of God’s purpose……

Beautiful Chung-Chung I Will Not Be….

Purposeful colours as a deterrent to predators.

I received flowers from Shanghai & greetings from Puerto Galera today. Remarkable distances these places are, yet with the technology of networks & computers, one is able to receive messages from different worlds. And it’s nice being thought of. Just when you think you are not appreciated, someone sends flowers & suddenly my day is made.

Last night, I was invited to a very pricey dinner at The Olive, Plaza Damas. I told Evie that this was an occasion to dress up for. And so we did. After a day’s work at the launch where I mastered the ceremony, we decided to prep ourselves to be seen. Lo and behold, the upstairs of the restaurant was reserved & apart from the five invited guests, four employees & a boss, there was no one to be seen. So much for looking good.

My best friend’s mom once told me, that I should dress to the nines & look my best even when I’m taking the rubbish out because I might never know if the person who bumps into me, could be a potential husband. I laughed at the thought then & still do. I have strutted out in my pyjamas with my head wrapped up in a wet towel before & I think those whom I met were just too polite to comment. What good is a beautiful creature if it exudes poison to those who touch it? Naturally, people would associate beauty with untouchables. Not that I want to be touched but I certainly would not want to appear toxic to potential ‘husbands’ as my best friend’s mom put it. Good tasting worms usually blend in with their surroundings. Fish loves earthworms. Birds too. So if I have to stay camouflaged to get the bird, then by all means, I’ll keep my pyjamas & towel on. What they can’t see usually taste better than the visually pleasing ones. I’m not looking for birds but I’m hyping the challenge for birds to look for me!!!!

Said a thousand legged worm, as he began to squirm,
Have you seen a leg of mine?
If it can’t be found, then I’ll have to hop around,
On my nine hundred ninety nine….

Life Without Regimen

Cafe Meow – The Unfinished Cat Bag That I Made In My Time Of Despair 3 years ago.

The security of a job may bring a stable income but what satisfaction do you derive from it if it’s just a job? Someone told me a long time ago that if you love what you do, you wouldn’t have worked a day in your life. I decided then that my life’s choices would be based upon what I wanted to do rather than for the sake of survival. It was a tough decision to cut back on my spending habits but it allowed me the flexibility of choosing my assignments & what I could to with all the free time on my hands.

When God showed me the tasks ahead, I thought I was going to be sent on mission trips. I’ve taken disaster relief & counseling courses to be sent to crisis-stricken areas. I’m still on call should there be a need to go to Pakistan, India or Afghanistan to council children. However, putting myself up for missions of such nature may put a frown on any parent’s face, I may never get to go if it’s not in God’s will that I’m sent. How then, if I have a tremendous desire to serve God in times of adversities? My dad is surely going to smile in heaven knowing that the last time he’d stop me from doing something while I was in my teens, I went out & got published. I’m quite sure if he was around, he would say, “just be careful & think with your coconut before you act.” My mom has got short term memory loss & dementia due to her stroke several years ago. I’m sure she would forget that I went on missions right after I tell her. If I held a 9 to 5 job, I don’t think it would be possible to take off at a moment’s notice. Alright, my setback may be fewer beauty essentials & nail polish, but I get to reach the people & tell them about God’s amazing love! If I get martyred, then I would receive my crown of life & crown of glory on the other side! Okay, the strangest thing is, I’ve been doing without a beauty regimen for three months now to let my skin rest, allowing my freckles to free form & freak out. I have to seriously think about putting some level of protection on myself before I go out. The guy who assisted me in my accident called me “Aunty…!”

In preparation, I have also spent a considerable amount of time with people who meant a lot to me. Those who were there for me in my time of bereavement, those who were grieving the loss of their loved ones & those who needed comfort because they were separated from their loved ones. I believe God had given me similar experiences in my past which helped me empathise with their situation. How else could I explain the circumstances in which I am put to the test? I wouldn’t know where God would send me next, but should I leave, I would have left with many pleasant memories of time spent with them. Surely they must have benefited from the ministry as some has gone on to grow in the Lord, some has healed in the separation & some were reunited & have gone on their way. Whichever way God has used me to be a part of these people’s lives would be forever embedded in my mind. He truly answers prayers. Not everything was smooth sailing. There were many bumps along the long & windy road. At times, there were fog & I couldn’t see. Other times were as clear as day where God wanted me to be. Still, there was no map to show where the road was going & the junction to the final destination was just a step away. The road well-worn may be the easier road to take & most people often choose to take that road but the journey for me is on the road less traveled. As I take my step of faith towards my destiny, I know there will be disappointments I would face along the way with people who can’t share the same faith nor see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe if they would take up their cross & follow Him, things might be different…..

The greater challenge would be having enough courage to go forward even when you don’t see any directions in spite of making wrong turns. The excitement of having encounters that would take you on another roller coaster ride along the journey of life without regimen.

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:3 – 6.

Love Your Enemy

Beautiful But Deadly

If you think loving your neighbour is easy, I would say loving your enemy is easier. Just love to hate the person who causes you strife, plot to avenge the deed, desire to slap them, punch them, sock ’em, deck ’em & knock the daylights out of them till you are satisfied that they are almost dead, wouldn’t that be easier? Sadly, I didn’t think that’s what God had in mind when He asked me to ‘love my enemies.’ Hatred gives birth to a multitude of misdeeds which breed like cancer in our system causing us to constantly think about how to return the pain inflicted upon us. What’s worse is when the enemy was one of your closest friends.

I remember when I was a fat pudgy kid, other kids used to make fun of me. Somehow, I grew up not so pudgy & they stopped. Taunting can’t be considered as bad. Not as bad as harassment caused by motive-driven individuals. An enemy is a person who hates somebody & acts or speaks against somebody. The unseen enemies are those who speak badly of you even when they do not know you. I know of a few. Their ultimate intention is to make you look bad so that they would look & feel better. Many a time, their contentions are baseless & far from the truth. In this sense, malice or no malice intended, still inflict some kind of damage to the individual target concerned. Sometimes, they appear to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing with the intention of getting close to you to mill information out of you, the life you lead & the people you hang around with only to use it against you when the opportunity rises. Jealousy can spark some pretty nasty doing in people who are insecure about themselves. Some would even go to the extent of calling your circle of friends to start spreading wild fire about how you got your achievements. I remember a time when the rumour circulated about me in the business world that I was sleeping my way to the top. Many who knew me laughed their heads off because I mainly worked with women bosses & eventually, my partners in the interior decorating business were females. The extent people would go just to tear you down is so callous & imagine had I been working with males instead. I’d be guilty until proven innocent!

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return. And your reward shall be great, and you shall be the sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and to the evil. (Luke 6:35)

Mind you, the language in which they use to refer to me is far from civil. I’ve been called names that you would not say in front of a kid & truly, I CAN BE ALL OF THAT IF I’D WANTED TO. And these are caused by the enemies who are unseen, what about the enemies who are known to you & you have to live with them? The kind of situation which I really despised was when I was told what to do by my ex’s mother. That I had to cook, clean, wash & reproduce if I were to marry her son. If that wasn’t bad enough, she said that I had to convert to become a Buddhist if I want to marry him! My response to her then was, ‘Aunty, I’m not going to deny Christ just because your son wants me to marry him. If you think I’m not good enough then it’s better that you marry your son yourself!’ They launched an offensive on me ever since & my ex had a tough time trying to make both parties see eye to eye. I wasn’t going to make him choose between flesh & blood & me so I graciously bowed out. My ex & I remain friends to this day.

My other ex, was working with his father & when he found out that my ex became a Christian, he went out of his way to get me out of his son’s life. He withheld his sales commission in the company for fear that he might buy a house elsewhere & live apart from the family. He bought him an RM1.2million dollar house instead. He started telling people what an unworthy profession I am in as a dive instructor, not honourable enough to be with his son & made me feel so inadequate & small. He went all out to hurt me for his son had loved me more than he loved his tyrant father. The final straw came when he conspired with my ex’s junior secretary to seduce my ex. The same way he had an affair of 21 years with his secretary. Again, I forgave both of them & moved on.

Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)

Give, and it shall be given to you, good measure pressed down and shaken together and running over, they shall give into your bosom. For with the same measure that you measure, it shall be measured to you again. (Luke 6:38)

What if the enemy in question is a fellow Christian? What if this person has a problem with you & causes strife between you & others? What if this person takes on upon oneself to be a moral police in the name of Jesus, insinuating things that could hurt so many parties just because this person had been left out due to numerous occasions as demonstrated in the past? What if the detrimental things that proceeded from this person’s mouth cannot be retracted despite whatever apologies that may come after? What if this person does not want to be helped despite having people around them who would put up with so much till they can do no more? The biblical principles of Matthew 18:15 – 18 would have to apply in this instance….

But if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)

But if he will not hear you, take one or two more with you, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (Matthew 18:16)

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him be to you as a heathen and a tax-collector. (Matthew 18:17)

Truly I say to you, Whatever you shall bind on earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven; and whatever you shall loose on earth shall occur, having been loosed in Heaven. (Matthew 18:18)

For a good tree does not bring forth corrupt fruit, neither does a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. (Luke 6:43)

For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. (Luke 6:44)

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth the good. And an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth the evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

And why do you call Me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say? (Luke 6:46)

Whoever comes to Me and hears My Words, and does them, I will show you to whom he is like. (Luke 6:47)

He is like a man who built a house and dug deep and laid the foundation on a rock; and a flood occurring, the stream burst against that house and could not shake it; for it was founded on a rock. (Luke 6:48)

But he who hears and does not perform, is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, on which the stream burst, and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great. (Luke 6:49)

If by the sheer fact that the person’s spouse does not want to be responsible for the acts of one’s spouse in question, then as brothers & sisters in Christ, I have to leave it to the church to deal with the situation. It no longer becomes a problem when one does not want to take steps to recover & advance but to repeatedly torture the people around them. I accept & forgive this person & ask God to forgive me if I have transgressed in the manner in which I dealt with the situation then.

In loving the enemy, I choose to release my anger, bitterness, resentment & hatred towards anybody that would cause me to lose my relationship with God as it creates a gorge as deep as the earth to the sky. I choose to surrender the things that I cannot deal with, not by my strength but by God’s strength. It does not make me a better Christian than the transgressor but it makes me wiser to the schemes of the real ENEMY who uses everyone to steal, kill & destroy…..relationships included.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world’s rulers, of the darkness of this age, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)